Ride of the Centurions
Well, we’ve seen the rise of the Centurions, now it’s time for the RIDE of the Centurions!
THE PLOT
Ride 100 miles from Green Lakes to God knows where and back. Try not to cry or chafe. Hopefully there will be shenanigans, some laughter and mega bragging rights at the end!
SETTING THE STAGE
● I’ve driven the course twice. 7 ½ hours of my life navigating country roads and roundabouts out in the middle of nowhere. What is the aversion to traffic lights or a dang 4 way stop? Why am I tripped up by them EVERY SINGLE TIME? I’m mapping out the route so I don’t have to rely on Tish to keep me on track and I want her to be proud of me for knowing where I’m going because that never happens!
● Everyone that knows me knows that I love a good prop. For the ride I painted my middle finger nails gold because our ride spirit color was Century gold. I knew that they would come in handy throughout the ride and I was soooo right!!
● 14 lbs of food for my bike and pockets, clothes laid out, alarm set.
● One last check of the weather, no rain.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Yours truly - AKA Goldfinger! I came prepared to flip off the day and the day did not disappoint!
Cindy Lou - The cruise director, providing great routes. Her philosophy is: if you can ride 35 miles, you can definitely ride 100. Dang! We fell hard for that line. Suckers!
Tish - Can’t say no to Goldfinger’s Kool-aid! May have laid in poop on the road, we’re not sure and really didn’t care. Famous for the Tishie kissy! Always a badass and quick with a joke. I adore her.
Liz - Leads the pack. Badass mechanic. Master F-bomber. Mark my words, she will someday become an Ironman (in a tutu)! You read it here first.
Mary - Looks fancy but don’t be fooled, she’s a badass athlete. Apparently likes to pour water on her head and started a flat tire trend. Dang! I fell for that one too!
Kelly - Cycling newbie no more! Did spring training on a mountain bike and kicked ass on her road bike. Smiles and nods yes to every riding opportunity. Sure doc, I’ll take it easy… at the front of the pack!
BEST SUPPORTING CAST
Short of being a 911 emergency response, these women are life savers!
Donna - Picked us up on the first half of the ride and stuck with us, making sure we were well supplied.
Jenn - Drove the backroads of wherever we were for an hour looking for us. It was great to see her smiling face and get a selfie with her.
Jackie - Treated us to her famous hospitality at Camp Snow. She was well stocked with snacks and beverages. Despite our later-than-expected arrival, she put her boating plans on hold and waited for us. What a great friend!
“You’re doing it fucker!” “Thanks Fucker!” A typical exchange between Eileen and I on the back 50. She saved us with her caffeine, ice, water and encouragement and was with us until the bitter end.
This ride would not have happened without the support of these amazing friends. Thank you so much!
THE RIDE - ACT ONE - THE FIRST 50
Sunday September 27th 2020 - Forecast 86 degrees with 10 to 20 mph winds out of the South. Heat and wind, my faves! Bring on the hot flashes! Thank goodness I came prepared with Goldfingers!
We arrive at Green Lakes to a beautiful sunrise, and prepare ourselves. Tutus on and photos done. Well wishes from Fleet Feet friends and we’re off! First hill, out of the park, running or biking, it is always a wake up call and feels like a friggin' heart attack. Once on the road, I’m feeling a bit more relaxed and getting in the groove.
Mile 12 - Mary gets a flat on Northern Blvd. Ugh! And of course it’s her back tire! I take this time to go potty as I will be absolutely no help at all. I can't help but think, "Thank goodness it’s not me!” Also, GOLD FINGER emerges.
Mile 15 - OMFG! Now it’s my back tire! Karma is a total bitch and this ride is testing our resolve. Liz is a whiz and helps me. I’ve gone to the triathlon tire changing classes but I just don’t get flats, until now! 4 years riding and today is the day I get my very first one! Cue, the GOLD FINGER music and now my fabulous gold sparkly nails have chain grease on them!
Mile 25 - Our first stop at the Red Onion, quick and dirty and back on the road. Jenn finds us in the boonies wearing her “I’m the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet” t-shirt! She truly is! Quick selfie and we’re on our way to Jackie’s.
Mile 52 - Jackie’s house, a shot gunned can of high test Pepsi, salty chips shared with Sydney the dog, a GOLD FINGER selfie in Jackie’s bathroom and back on the road.
THE RIDE - ACT TWO - THE FINAL GRIND
I wish there was more fun stuff to report but with headwinds most of the way, it really was a grind. Tish and I stick together. We agreed that Gee Road was the best! Must’ve been a freak tailwind! We saw the biggest ass crack in rural CNY, hung out with skeletons and kept on going. At 80 miles we needed to stop. Eileen was waiting in a parking lot about 5 miles from Canastota. Tish got off her bike and laid in the
grass. We drank Coke and Pepsi. I snuggled up to Tish and we made a Goldfinger video.
The fast kids were ahead of us and stopping in Canastota for ice cream before their final badass push to the end. Tish and I had our final stop laying in the grass delirious on the side of the road. Finally, time to roll. The rest did us good and we are hauling ass. Bolivar, Kinderhook, Poolsbrook, Kirkville and finally Rte. 290! Into the park and there is a beautiful crepe paper finish line and friends and our teammates and cheering and signs. We rode together all season and crossed that finish line together. Photos, medals, drinks and flip flops and just like that, it’s over!
FUCK YEAH! WE ARE CENTURIONS!
THE END